YIDCORE.com

BUBBIE MYKI'S FAMOUS CHOLENT

(Traditional Jewish Beef Stew)

You'll have to start cooking this one sometime on a Friday afternoon.

- Rinse half a packet of berlotti beans, half a packet of lima beans and a quarter of a packet of pearl barley.
- Soak in water for about an hour.
- Spray bottom of a crock-pot with a non-stick spray.
- Chop one large onion and place on bottom of crock-pot.
- Drain the soaked beans and barley and place in pot.
- Place half a kg of top-rib on top of the beans.
- Add peeled and quartered potatoe's.
- Add salt, pepper, a touch of chicken stock, 2 spoons of tomato paste a solid dollop of ketchup and a good honest splash of that really sweet kosher kiddish red wine.
- Stir it up a bit.
- Next layer is some pumpkin and sweet potato.
- You can top it all off with a kishka (optional extra)
- Fill with water until the pot is almost full.
- Bring it to the boil for a couple of hours, and then before Shabbat, turn it to low. You can top it up with water if need be.

Cook overnight.

WARNING: You are likely to wake to the wonderful aroma of fresh cholent for the next few days. So will the person in the bed next to you. YIDcore take no responsibility for 'dutch oven' casualties.

LOCKSHEN KUGEL

(Sweet Noodle Cake)

1 package cooked broad egg noodles
4 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cloves
1 cup raisins
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1/4 cup graham wafer crumbs

- Cook a package (about 16 oz) of broad egg noodles in salted boiling water. Drain and rinse well.
- Beat the eggs until foamy.
- Combine the noodles, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Add the beaten eggs and mix until thoroughly moistened.
- Grease a large (4 qt) casserole dish with oil.
- Pour half the mixture into the greased casserole dish.
- Combine the raisins and almonds and put on top of the noodles mixture.
- Top with the remainder of the noodle mixture.
- Sprinkle the graham wafer crumbs on top.
- Bake for 45 minutes or 1 hours at 350F until the crust is golden brown.

***THE ORIGINAL YIDcore YIDDISH GLOSSARY***

Bubbe Meises - old wives tales, rubbish
Bupkes - nothing.
Chevra - Community, grapevine, links
Farbissener - Embittered; bitter person
Farbloget - lost
Farbrengen - party, gathering, although I always thought it was Yiddish for cake and vodka
Farklempt - Too emotional to talk. Ready to cry.
Ferschnoshked - drunk
Farshtaist - (Do You?) Understand
Fertootsed - over-dressed
Fress - gobble up, pig out
Gay red tsur der vent - go talk to the wall, tell someone who cares
Geshmackt - delicious, lip smacking
Gornisht - nothing
Kibbitz - chitchat
Kishkes - guts
Klutz - clumsy person
Kvetch - Whine, complain; whiner, a complainer
Loch in Kopf - a hole in the head. As in 'I need it like a loch in kopf'.
Megila - Long drawn out story
Mieskeit - Ugly
Meshuggah - crazy
Metziahs - Bargains
Narishkeit - Nonsense
Nebach - pity, loser
Nu - 'So?', 'Well?'
Oy Vey - Oh no!!!
Plutz - brim over with emotion
Punim - face
Seichel - common sense, brains
Schlemiel - a bumbling person
Schlep - carry, drag
Schlep nachus - to derive pride
Schloof - sleep
Schmateh - rag, cheap clothing
Schnookum - sweetie (term of endearment)
Schpiel - story, pitch, review
Schpritz - Spray
Shmooze - talk, intimate chit-chat, interviews (well, for this site, anyway).
Shmutz - dirt, gossip, news
Shmucks - fools, people
Shmultz - Fat, nostalgia
Shtick - an act or performance, usually light-hearted or comedic.
Shvitz - sweat
Trayf - Unkosher
Tsemisht - Confused or mixed up
Tuchus - bum (your ass)
Tuckus leker - ass kisser
Vee getz? - How's it going?, What's up?
Vilde chaya - wild animal, a madman
Zol zein shah! - Be quiet. Shut up!!

***MUCH MORE....***

This is by far the funniest piece of hate mail we've ever received. All spelling errors are those of the original author. And for a while there I thought we were the biggest schmucks on earth.....

hi,
im gonna be brief.
my friend told me about you guys 2 years ago. so i checked it out. the music was good. i enjoyed it. this summer i went to your web site and was amazed to find that you all appear to be 9 yrs old. (not even in a good way)

"matzah ball recipes" - come on youve got nothing better to do? its cheezy and old. and ive found it embarassing to listen to your music since. my friend would ask what the band im listening to is like, and my only responce is - losers.

dave and bram especially- you guys look like your trying so hard to be cool, and have somethiong to do. what do you thing abiout when your coloring your hair and shaping it??
paul- what kind of a anme is that? i dont know if your jewish. but if you are it makes you look pretty stupid to be sporting the name of a goy who wouldve himself, and started a movement of people, who in their best times would kill you. (e,g, inquisition, pogroms, 1920's europe)

myki- tyou appear the most sane, but only b/c you appear to be the most dull, "i like to dresss drag" -your only statement that connotes personality- too bad it makes you sound like an idiot.

now you may try to laugh it off. but that iwould only make you bigger idiots. instead take it like a man. use your brain and think about what i said. noone likes to be called stupid. so why act thta way? the only antidote for acting stupid is- no,not acting intelligent- rather being intelligent. i.e. thinking. im not even saying that you gotta agree with me, but come on a little self respect. a little bit of a life. in 20 yrs. some kids gonna find your e.p. in his dads attic and all he'l think is -what losers. what a shame. in short, stop acting like stupid kids thta left yeshiva and judaism for no reason other that that you wanted to be lazy idiots who would rather laugh at rubber chickens. and make something of yourselves. even if its punk. but come on , do something. this is just pathetic..

yours truly.
ari.
p.s. im writing in hope that youl listen, not to just rank you guys out. i dont have time for that.

think about it.
think.

***LINKS***

Wow, you made it all the way down to here.... If we didn't leave you totally tsemisht and in need of a schluf (see, you're fluent already), then check out these cool people:

Atom and His Package lives here.
Ben Lee hangs out here.
The Dictators rock this place.
Useless ID will make you an awesome falafel right here.

Salem will make you have to change your undies here.
Arallu will drink your blood here.

99% FAT will give you dietary tips here.
The Incredible Dead Goons will get you all horny here.

Bang It Out will make you plutz here.
Little Running Bear takes on the world of disinformation here.

Hothouse Studios will make you sound like a real band here.

Little Big Music use YIDcore CD's as frisbees here.
Swell Records rule the world of cool indie punk stuff here.
FAT Wreck Chords will sit on you and crush your skinny ass here,
Kung Fu Records are less violent than their name implies. They might lick you here.
Hopeless Records give hope to the, um, well... whatever... here.
Epitaph Records will resurrect you here.

And finally... the funnest game on the net (just don't tell your grandma).